This fall in my small group one person is giving their testimony about their walk with God. This week I’m up! I wasn’t sure which direction to take, but I tried to stay really with just how God has led me during my life. Also several verses have defined my life during these times, so with out further ado..
( To be honest I have edited this a little for the web, however if you would like the full story just let me know.)
1 John 4:7-8
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is [a]born of God and knows God. 8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
I was born in Manila, Philippines on Clark Air Base, to a Christian family. My parent’s picked the name Amy Lynnette long before I was born. Amy means beloved , and I had little sign hung my room with the 1 John 4:7-8 verse.
I accepted Christ and was baptized when I was 5 years old at First Baptist Church in Garnett Kansas. I don’t remember what I was thinking when I did this, I don’t remember if I conscientiously knew what I was doing or the major decision that I was making. I think I wanted to participate in communion and all I knew is this is what you had to do to participate.
At the age of 13 I attended Camp Mundo Vista, a GA Camp (Girls in Action, a Baptist version of Girl Scouts but with a missions emphasis) in the mountains of North Carolina. It was my second summer going to this camp and I loved every minute of it. On the second to last day, during the alter call I felt the push to rededicated myself to Christ and that is the first time I felt the Holy Spirit. From this point on I tried my hardest to lead the Christian life I was taught was right.
Mark 13:13
13 You will be hated by all because of My name, but the one who endures to the end, he will be saved.
The next few years of my life I focused on leading the life of a Christ follower, attending church, bible study, being a leader in youth group, and trying to take a stand for my faith. I listened to all the right Christian music, I read all the right Christian books, I didn’t drink, I didn’t smoke, I didn’t mess around with boys. For all intents and purposes I was doing what was right. But that right was very superficial because I was doing it because it was right not because it was God’s will for me to live my life that way. I do believe I had a relationship with God but I lived an extremely sheltered life, my faith wasn’t challenged and my relationship with God grew stagnate.
I started undergrad in the fall of 2005, my worldview started to change. No longer did people with the same background and family life surround me. The thought that people could actually hate their mom blew my mind. This is when I felt my life and Christian views be challenged.
I immediately got connected with Journey, a Christian fellowship that met on Sundays in a local coffee shop. It was everything I wanted in a Church, young adult/ college focused, challenging messages, and a place to get plugged in. It wasn’t long before I was a part of the leadership team, and became more involved. However about a year and a half later our little fellowship was offer from to become the college ministry of a much larger church. The former leadership became stretched and eventually Journey as I knew it changed and eventually was disbanded. I felt lost, and was with out a church connection for the rest of my time in Bristol.
In December of 2008 I began dating a guy, who was a former beau of a college friend. It was a long distance relationship, he lived in Annapolis and I lived in Bristol.
A lot of things in my life we happening at this time, I had just graduated that December and I was planning on staying in Bristol to work at the fine dining restaurant I was a manager at, rent and cost of living was cheap so I felt no reason to move. This plan all changed because of a series of events, the first being after returning to Bristol after Christmas I found out there had been a fire at my restaurant and it would be closed for the next few months.
That very next week, after the fire at work, I as evicted from my house because the house owner was a former college friend and since we only had a verbal agreement for rent she had the ability to do this. I felt like the last reason for me to stay in Bristol had just been pulled out underneath me, so I packed up and returned home.
After moving home I want to be closer to him and I intended to to move to Maryland permanently. Though we were together for only a short time we discussed getting married and I believed we had a future together. I desperately wanted to make it work and I felt my self changed to accommodate him. I started being very submissive and I wouldn’t bring up problems or issues because I knew they would upset him and it was easier to stifle my feelings than fight with him. The next few months I was pulling away from my close relationship with my family because of my boyfriend.
After realizing my photographic career was not what I wanted I was encouraged by him and my parents to look into Grad schools. This was the first window of opportunity God had laid out for me. I went to speak with the head of the Arts Management program at GMU, and was applied to the program just a few days before the deadline. I was accepted to the program Easter weekend, after a phone interview with the program director. I was excited for my future and to have a plan in my life for the future (I am one of those people who needs to have a plan). I wasn’t having much luck with finding a job near my boyfriend and I decided I would return to Tripp Lake Camp in Maine that summer to work instead of staying at home.
That May after dating for just shy of six months he broke up with me (on iChat of all things). I was devastated, and heartbroken. Fortunately God had laid out all these opportunities to keep my life moving forward- I left for camp early, to get away from everything.
Proverbs 15:13
13 A joyful heart makes a [i]cheerful face,
But [j]when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.
I left for camp heart sick, and had an awful summer. Awful because as distracting as it was to be surrounded by these amazing and wonderful girls I felt like I wasn’t wholly there, that was the worst. I wanted to be happy and joyful and love on these girls.
But all I felt was sadness, it didn’t help that it was the rainiest summer in Maine on record. All that summer my mom encouraged me to read the bible. I latched on to Proverbs 15, which is a contrast the upright and the wicked. These verses opened my eyes to a lot of what I had made myself blind to in my relationship.
During my time at Camp God provided me with amazing friends who encouraged and lifted me up. God also provided me with encouragement from my friend Benni who is a strong Christian, told me that it was ok to be sad, and it was okay to be upset and miss him. Benni also encouraged me to get back in fellowship with God and read the bible.
I now realize that it was truly the grace of God that my Ex ended things with me, because I never would have. I would have continued to let myself go down that path and be led astray.
Upon returning from camp I had less than a week before Grad school started. It was a blessing from God that I had no down time. During that next year I felt like I had a large gray cloud hanging over me. I was struggling to figure out who I was, and trying to mend my relationship and trust with my parents and my relationship with God. I believe that a huge part of that cloud being lifted is due to finding McLean Bible Church, Frontline ARL and my small group. Finding that Godly connection and community was a major turning point. Being encouraged by those who not only want the best for me because I’m a person, but also encourage and care for me because we are a Christian family has given me joy again.
That brings me to now: I believe God has opened so many doors for me- great place to live, with a great roommate (haven’t had many of the those), and the perfect job for me. I can’t believe how blessed I am.
In thinking about giving my testimony and talking about where I’ve been in my walk with God and where I am now, I’ve realized that a lot of my life I’ve been walking beside faith. I’ve known the path I should be on and I’ve known I am never without God, but I don’t walk on that path- for one selfish reason or another. That is my daily struggle, knowing what to do and knowing that if I do it I well learn so much about God and who He is and have that fully committed relationship with him, but I choose to just skate by on what I know. I do know that because of what has happened in the past few years that everything has been laid out according to His ultimate and great plan, and I have faith that God will provide for me in the future.
It is my prayer to grow closer to God, and more importantly become more disciplined in my life and more obedient to Him.
only I didn’t have the chunky socks. 
